Trust Me

The other day I was at my local Canadian Tire store and two young girls approached me and asked for my advice. I suppose because I look like a typical "Dad", they may have assumed I have some sort of insight into their dilemma. One of the girls had purchased a new bike and they were trying to figure out how they were going to get it home in their very small economy vehicle. I told them they would have to take it apart or get a bike rack; there was no way it was going to fit inside of their little puddle-jumper.  

I went inside and did my business and when I came back out, they were still sitting there in their car. I realized my van was big enough to fit the bike in, so I knocked on the window and cheerfully offered to help them out. The look of terror on their faces said it all. They said they had a solution and thanks anyway and rolled up the window before the last word was uttered.

I appreciate the reason for their nervousness and at the same time, feel sad that the world has become this way. In a scenario where I was just trying to be kind, my intentions were misconstrued as predatory and manipulative. 

So what can we do about it? 

I could go on and on about how today's world has become so cynical that all conversations with anyone other that your inner circle are considered a sales pitch. As an example of this - I receive at least one or two scam phone calls, texts or emails every single day. No wonder we think everyone is out to get us. This kind of thing might lead you to believe that everyone is a thief. Our online, always connected world has brought us a ton of efficiency, connectivity and opportunity, but it has also created a whole new platform for grifters, con-artists and criminals. The news outlets bombard us with bad-news stories, meant to draw us in by their wild nature, in order to get viewers, but skew our perception of realty. 

In my experience, criminals and con-men are the exception not the rule. As Luke Bryan says, "Most people are Good". It is true. Most people are just trying to make ends meet and spend time with people they love. It is sad that the corrupt minority are perpetuating the painting all of mankind with the same brush. It is natural for us to turn on our safety instincts, as that is what our primal brain is wired to do, to protect us from threats. The trouble is, not everyone is a threat. In fact, very few people are threats. But how can you tell who is a nice, regular person and who is a wolf in sheep's clothing?

I don't know the answer to this. But I have a few ideas to help make a difference in how we act in the face of this negative paradigm.

Be the person you want to be

Don't let society's perceptions dictate who you are. Some people might say to themselves,

"The world is a crap place and everyone is out to get me. I might as well be untrustworthy myself so I can get my piece of the pie". Others will live in fear and avoid honest and genuine interactions with human beings because they don’t trust anyone.

Sticking with the theme of "What CAN I do?" You must change the direction of your focus from reacting to the world (being a victim) to acting upon the world (be a hero). You always have control over what you think, what you feel and what you do. If you understand this simple concept then you always have power. 

You do not exist in a vacuum. You are a part of this world. There is really no separation between you and your environment. You always have an effect on the world as long as you are alive. So you must decide what effect you have. Because you are unavoidably a piece of the whole of humanity, your words and deeds speak for us all. If you think that people are evil, you can contradict that statement by your own nature. If you are good in a world of evil, then the statement that "people are evil" is not true. It cannot be true as your are a "people" and you are choosing not to be evil. You are an equal part of the collective, so what you put out into the world becomes a truth. Your existence creates reality as much as anybody, so you are actually defining the world you live in by the life you lead. 

I will continue to be kind to people. I will continue to treat people with respect and patience when I can. Sometimes I will misjudge someone and be treated poorly in return. That is OK, I can take it. I am tougher than I look. But if I am kind to 10 people, and 9 are actually receptive to my kindness, I will have planted a seed of positivity in 9 people, who may start to believe that people are not as bad as they originally thought, and perhaps even pay it forward. This, to me, outweighs the consequences brought about by the one "bad" person who is burdened with the inability to trust and feels they must manipulate and deceive to "get ahead".

Because of our unconscious bias towards the negative, the majority of what we are fed as "news" is of a dark nature, in order to get readership or 'clicks'. This leads us to believe most of what is going on in the world is ugly and entropic. The real fact is, the world is actually improving all the time. I recently read a great book entitled "Ten Global Trends Every Smart Person Should Know" which is an examination of statistics from around the world on various human circumstances, like crime, hunger, health and war. In almost every category, the statisticians found that things are improving and have been for a long time. Our world is evolving, which could be reworded as "we" are evolving. 

Perhaps, we see the world negatively because bad things happen, which is actually not the norm, so we are upset by them. In the past, the world was a dangerous, lawless place and life was always hard. People just accepted it so there was a certain degree of desensitisation to the nastiness. Now, in our safe, sterile modern world we expect things to be peaceful and orderly, so when it is not, we start to think things are going badly. 

Be Kind

Set an example. Show people who they can become. You can't change people but you can inspire them. 

What is the world? It is people. People created and thought up everything. None of our society is natural. It is all conjured up in someone's mind and made into "rules" to serve those who benefit the most from it. People are the world. You are a "people", therefore, by you changing, you change the world. At least a significant part of it. So, be strong. Be the person you wish everyone else was. Trustworthy. Courageous. Kind. 

In a sea of darkness, be a light unto the world. Have the courage to be kind when everyone else thinks that being nice is naive. Have the strength of character to do the right thing, even when no-one will know. Fight for what is right. Be strong and bold for the right ideals. You don't have to change the world, you just have to change yourself. If you can be someone who you are proud of and who believes in something bigger than yourself, then you are making the changes in the world that you can. The emphasis is on the word "can" in "what CAN I do". 

It is easy to feel powerless in many situations. When things are going sideways you have to take a look at your situation and forget about what is NOT in your control and focus on what is. Ask yourself, "What CAN I do" and do it. Make positive actions come alive and shine light on the darkness. You can refuse to buy into the negative view of the world. You can refuse to accept that the world is "going to hell in a hand basket" and strive to make it the way you want it to be. If enough people believe that they can make a difference, then a huge difference can be made - in the right direction. We can  choose to be victims and believe the false perceptions that the world is a terrible place or be heroes, bravely fighting for positive change and lifting up our fellow human beings. 

The best way to change the world is by changing yourself. You can do this in a myriad of ways. You can educate yourself. It has been said that the modern education system is meant to create good employees, who will follow instructions. They want obedience and loyalty. I believe that the real purpose of education is to develop critical thinking skills. We must learn new things in order to frame the world through the correct lenses. Money management and entrepreneurship is not taught in school because it would encourage people to think creatively and look for ways to add value in the world. This would create a lack of good minions to do the everyday tasks necessary to keep the wheels of industry turning. 

By reading books, taking courses, attending seminars and engaging in real conversations with people you admire, you will start to become the person you need to be to change the world. As you learn to see the world differently, new ideas and opportunities become apparent, that you couldn't see before. You will take in new information and you will be able to put it in the right context. You will be less susceptible to propaganda and able to identify con-men when they come calling. 

I try to help by being kind, and by writing books and articles that are meant to give people the knowledge they need to escape the clutches of poverty and financial hardship. I try to be positive and encouraging in my work, and I send out positive intentions into the universe when I write, that someone, somewhere ,will read what I have written and it will be the discovering of missing information they needed to set them on a new course.. maybe even change their life.

You can't help others unless you help yourself

As Abraham Lincoln once said,

"You can't help the poor by being one of them"

This goes to show that logically, you must get your own act together before you are in any position to help others. So the first step to a better world is to make yourself better. For those of you who are Christians, even Jesus said the same thing. Tom Harpur, in his great book "For Christ's Sake" makes the argument that the central theme of the christian message is to love they neighbour, but you must love yourself first. You can't give something you dont have. Makes sense to me.

Just like the girls at Canadian Tire, they needed help. I had a van. I would not have been in a position to help if i didn't have a van. It is very simple. You cannot give what you don't have. They did not accept my help, but I was able to offer it. The same goes for any offering you present to the world. The world may or may not accept your gifts, but that is no reason not to present them. You must be the change you want to see in the world, as Gandhi suggested.

Educate your self then educate others. Pass it on to your children. Change yourself then change the world. Talk about new ideas. Support free speech. We can change the system one brick at a time. Learn, grow, discuss.