Good Manners?

I was always told while I was growing up that it was impolite to talk about money. It was as “off-limits” as religion and politics. People can get very emotional about money and it sometimes will bring up a lot of negative feelings. So, I avoided this topic my whole life. When someone would start to bring up money issues I would say,

“Gentlemen do not discuss such things” and we would laugh and move on to the next topic. 

In recent years I have changed my stance on this. I think it is good to talk about money, if you are doing it for the right reasons.

It is considered “gauche” among rich people

First of all, NOT talking about money is a point of etiquette inherited from rich people, just like pointless displays of money like weddings and funerals. It used to be a way to show how rich you were by how much you didn’t care about money. I remember in the Movie about Howard Hughes “The Aviator”, Leonardo DiCaprio as Howard Hughes was having dinner at someones house and they stated that they didn’t care about money. Howard Hughes gets angry and says “you don’t care about money because you HAVE IT”

I think this is a silly and pretentious behaviour and we need to get real about money. Specifically, I would love to hear people to talk about money MORE OFTEN.

Pretentious Chatter

In an article I read in Forbes it was discussing this topic and it really did a great job of debunking the “money is off limits” myth. It mentioned that it was a silly quirk of the super-rich and was often used to belittle those of lesser means. 

Shame

I don’t think anyone should go around bragging about how much money they have for many reasons.

If you are announcing your salary or net worth to show you are better than someone, then shame on you. You are a braggart and you suck. 

Secondly, people generally won’t want to be like you, they will just want what you have. It is simple human nature. They will not suddenly have respect and admiration for you if you have a fat wallet. They usually will want your riches for themselves. So there is not much to be gained from rubbing your wealth in peoples faces. It might even put a target on your back for some less than scrupulous people. 

In my opinion, the old-fashioned traits of kindness and decency will get you the respect you crave. 

Talk about money

If you really want people to admire you for your abundance, teach them how to acquire it for themselves. This will garner you as much love and respect as you can handle. You are not going to lose anything by giving away your knowledge. There is plenty to go around and you probably won’t gain wealth by having a scarcity mindset anyways. 

It would even be OK to reveal your income or net worth if it were to inspire someone or to prove that you know what you are doing. It is not necessary but if you felt it would have the proper impact then by all means, let it slip.

Talk to your kids

The most important discussions you should have about money are with your children. They are living in a world that is defined by capitalism and it’s rules. By teaching them how money works your are arming them with the tools they need for success in the real world. You will be giving them a serious advantage over their peers, as financial literacy is not taught in school (as it should be). Where else are they going learn? By openly talking about money, leverage, assets, and taxes, you are teaching them that money is not evil. You are taking away the fear and emotional turmoil that is often attached to money. You would be reinforcing a respect for good money management. 

Make it awesome

Learning about money can be fun! Make up games to play using money. Play monopoly and stock ticker. Let them see how it feels to earn, borrow and spend money in a safe environment before they are forced to deal with these things in the real world.

If you are comfortable with it, let them watch you pay bills and work on your budget. Show them your investments and how they work. Tell them why you picked those particular investment opportunities. If they see that there is a real impact to these concepts, they will learn to put money to work for them, instead of spending every cent they earn. Tell them how much your house cost, it's present worth and how a mortgage works. 

Read books

Of course, I am a huge fan of reading books. I have learned most of what I know from reading books written by people smarter than me who have figured out how to manage money. I get something from nearly every book I read, even if it is something I already knew. A new perspective or one little tidbit of information can sometimes change your whole world. I know it has for me.

I also have written several books on wealth creation. I believe they offer usable strategies that will enable anyone to become financially free if they apply the principles and work the system. I don’t believe in get-rich-quick schemes and I would never suggest one. I know that it is possible to become rich if you are willing to pay the necessary price, in self discipline, delayed gratification, and adopting long-term perspective. Becoming financially free is not magic, nor is it something that is reserved for the folks who “don’t discuss money”. It is for everyone who is able to function in a free society. 

Money is not evil. It is not supposed to be scary. It is simply a tool to be used to live your life in the manner you choose. If you talk about it then it loses it’s mystique. It becomes an everyday activity you manage like your other daily habits. 

Thanks